Have you ever just sat there and thought about why things happen? Or what's to come in your future? I have and I can't seem to stop.
Throughout my high school years I went through a year of surgery, travelling back and forth to London every single week to have two silicone balloons filled with water in order to stretch the skin in my shoulder to remove a birthmark that covered my shoulder and neck for the majority of my life. Whilst being the 12 year old English Hunchback of Notre Dam, I lost who I thought were my friends and was exposed to severe bullying. I did not want to go to school.
Just before my GCSE's I was involved with individuals from Peterborough who later on made my life hell for 9 months, calling, texting, emailing me telling me what's wrong with me. Fat, ugly, worthless, stupid. I couldn't face leaving the house, I didn't like anyone. I hated everyone. I did not want to go to school.
I went to a new school, after failing most of my GCSE's. I studied two BTEC courses "stupid people courses". I started seeing a councillor every week for my mental issues and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and mania. I couldn't see the fun in anything. I did not want to go to school.
I now go to university, I wake up every morning with a smile on my face knowing that the people throughout my schooling life have either stuck by me or have had the decency to leave. I do want to go to school.
To Ronnie,
You are my rock. I love you in many ways even if you are a pain in the bum. No matter how much we annoy each other I know it's always sorted two hours later. You took me on my very first night out when I was sixteen and cleaned my sick out of a taxi when I was nineteen. I'm twenty next week, brace yourself.
To Chloe,
I've told you things I've never told anyone and you've never broke my trust and stuck by my side no matter how many stupid things I've done. My partner in costa crime, always.
To Laura,
9 years and still going. What more do I need to say? Thank you for all the McDonald's breakfasts.
To Zeedee,
My little Stokie princess. It's amazing to think I've made a friend for life just from uni. I remember listening to your laugh in a lift and thinking 'she needs to be my mate'
To Hannah,
I've lived with you for the past 10 months and you don't hate me yet, so I must be doing something right? Brummie.
To Jodie, Gemma and Hayley,
My older and definitely wiser mother hens. We were forced into friendship by our partners' love for each other but I wouldn't have it any other way. And you like cocktails as much as me so it's cool.
And finally, Joseph,
You're not only my boyfriend but my best friend. Even though we are both mardy, we know the love is there and I couldn't ask for anything more. You're my bear.
I apologise for the depressing post, but I just had a moment.
E x
